canada5.htmlTEXTStMl*>°Ö„[°Ö„\ƒ Canada List - Dec. 22

Canada List - Dec. 22

 

Well everybody Chirstmas is upon once again, but have no fear for this year NBC

bought the exclusive rights to "It's a Wonderful Life" and you only have to see

it once. On to the list...

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Cool Fact

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What is unusual about the way Earth's inner core spins?

 

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Earth's solid inner core spins faster than the rest of the planet!

 

Scientists have discovered this fact by studying the vibrations of

earthquakes passing through the center of the planet. The difference

in speed is not much -- about one degree of rotation per year.

 

The inner core is a sphere of solid nickel-iron, a little smaller than

the moon. It is surrounded by a liquid metal layer, which in turn is

surrounded by the semi-solid rocky mantle. Riding on top of the

mantle is the comparatively thin stony crust, on which we live, where

earthquakes happen.

 

No one knows exactly why the core spins faster. Some scientists think

it might have something to do with electromagnetic fields in the

conductive liquid and solid core layers. These are the fields which

produce the Earth's global magnetic field.

 

To learn more about this cool discovery, visit

<http://www.sciencenews.org/sn_arch/7_20_96/fob1.htm>.

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The Top 16 Signs You'll be Sitting at the

Kiddie Table for Christmas Dinner

 

 

16> You misunderstood when Aunt Nancy asked you to put the

*condiments* on the table.

 

15> Your "napkin" has snaps and a picture of Elmo.

 

14> Your 13-year old nephew: Just graduated from med school.

You: Just graduated from your 10th year in eighth grade.

 

13> Your worsening lactose-intolerance will be a source of

amusement there.

 

12> You keep stuffing two carrots up your nose and screaming,

"Tusks! I AM the Walrus, koo koo kachoo!"

 

11> Grandpa can cry "ageism" all he wants -- but no one gets around

the family Diaper Rule.

 

10> When you ask for wine, the hostess winks and fills your glass

with chocolate milk.

 

9> Last year's little "cranberry sauce carved into the shape of

genitalia" stunt still not forgiven.

 

8> Room needed at adult table for the paramedics who extracted the

cranberries from your nose last year.

 

7> Being a mother at age 13 *still* doesn't qualify you, dammit!

 

6> Your attempt to carve Thanksgiving's turkey with a chainsaw led

to a role in a movie directed by Wes Craven.

 

5> You're Jerry Seinfeld, and you don't want your date to be over

there all by herself.

 

4> Mia doesn't like playing footsie as much as Soon-Yi.

 

3> Five minutes till dinner, and you're the only one who still has

Play-Doh on your plate.

 

2> *Every* table is a kiddie table at the Neverland!

 

 

and the Number 1 Sign You'll be Sitting at the

Kiddie Table for Christmas Dinner...

 

 

1> You've already labeled your left nostril "Milk" and your

right one "Soda".

 

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Interesting Final

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This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores

who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the

quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final

they had a solid 'A'. These two friends were so confident going into the

final that the weekend before finals week, even though the Chem final

was on Monday, they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party

with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time.

However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day

Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

 

Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor

Aldric after the final and explain to him why they missed the final.

They told him that they went up to UVA for the weekend, and had planned

to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way

back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and

so were late getting back to campus.

 

Aldric thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the

final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved.

So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that

Aldric had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each

of them a test booklet and told them to begin.

 

They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about

free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought,

"this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned

the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the

next page.

 

It said: (95 points) Which tire?

 

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Humorscope

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

 

If you're not already a vegetarian, you will be. Someone with the

initial "E." will make sure of that. Ed? Ernest? Dunno. Someone

like that. E. Coli, is what I see. Odd name, huh? Sounds Italian.

 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

 

You will have an intellectual discussion with a potato, soon. You'll

be so caught up in whether it was Descartes or Voltaire who first advocated

empiricism, that it will fail to strike you as a bit odd that the potato

knows much of anything about 17th-century French philosophers. In fact,

it knows more about them than you do. Later, that will irritate you.

 

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

 

You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey

nonny, nonny", in Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was

simply in-field chatter that somehow made it into the play, and that

Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.

 

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

 

As a joke, you will send off a resume for your dog to a company which

wants to hire an extrusion manager. Surprisingly, he will not only get

the job, but will earn more than you.

 

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

 

An elderly Chinese gentleman will drop by for a visit. You'll spend

the entire visit in complete silence, except for the occasional clink

of a teacup in a saucer.

 

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

 

You are always running out of things to say, at dinner. Try

memorizing a whole lot of facts about commercial fish farming -- that's

always a good topic for discussion.

 

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

 

You will have a trifle too much punch at a party this week, and will amuse

the other guests by flopping around on the floor an making "Ark! Ark!"

sounds. But who cares? If they want to be stuffy, let 'em, I say.

 

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

 

You will rest peacefully, and sink into a strange dream. In the dream,

you will be playing an odd version of soccer with huge clear balloons, and

people will be cheering you on from the sidelines, who are dressed in white

formal attire. Don't go into the light. The extra point isn't worth

it.

 

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

 

Beware of turnips.

 

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

 

Excellent day to just walk down the street, going "Doo wah ditty,

ditty dum ditty doo". I'd stop short of taking a walk on the wild

side, though.

 

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

 

You haven't been sleeping well, but that will soon change. You will

develop the knack of falling instantly asleep whenever you want to --

either at night, or during boring meetings.

 

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

 

Today you will deliberately annoy people by standing too close to them

when waiting in line. Tomorrow: standing just slightly too far away.

 

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Well I hope you enjoyed it. As you may have noticed it is a little shorter this

time around and will be even shorter in the future. We here at the list have

decieded to send to you people only the best one or two items we find each

week. Making it less time consuming for you and insuring that you get the

highest quality of stuff. Look for a short but sweet holiday special comming

your way soon.

 

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